At certain points in our life, we all evaluate ourselves against others.

It’s only natural for us to measure our success against those around us in a competitive world.

Additionally, for people with strong accomplishment needs, continual external comparison serves as a source of inspiration and a tool to establish specific goals for professional success.

However, if you find yourself continuously contrasting your work with others, you can give in to the unpleasant feelings of jealously and let someone else’s success to make you feel less than.

More than 75% of participants said they have been jealous of someone in the past year, according to a recent study.

While envy may inspire some people, it can undermine the possibilities of success for others. Here are some tactics you may use to put an end to the pain of comparison and eventually turn envy to your advantage. 

Understand the Difference Between Envy And Jealousy

Even if the loss is of something you never had, jealousy is a feeling related to experiencing loss.

You can feel envious of your coworker if you don’t receive the promotion you believe you deserve.

As a logical emotion that arises in reaction to outside circumstances, jealousy is more manageable.

But envy is just a desire for something you don’t have.

It doesn’t really have a basis in reality; for instance, you can hold a degree in the arts and feel jealous of a friend who works as a doctor.

It also doesn’t help you develop a stronger work ethic, thus it has no practical value. It can be more difficult to deal with pure jealousy, but it’s more crucial that you strive to channel this energy into something positive. 

It Facilitates Networking

Connect with someone you see who has accomplished something you wish to accomplish or who possesses something you desire.

In my case, I met a few of the experts in my industry that I greatly like there, and they have already been of assistance to me in various ways.

(And who knows, perhaps I’ll be able to work with them in the future!)

Motivate Yourself by It

You can begin creating a strategy to accomplish these goals for yourself once you’ve identified the general cause of your sentiments of envy.

Feeling envy has only one true benefit, which is that you can use it to motivate yourself. Maintaining motivation is essential for career advancement, so employ jealousy if necessary.

Instead of being resentful, use this emotion motivate you to improve.

Switch to Curiosity from Comparison

Instead of believing that someone else’s achievement somehow diminishes your possibilities, get curious about what made someone prompt a comparison for you and consider how their journey may teach you anything about your future course.

I shared a room with three college classmates who are now Middle East ambassadors to the United States, one of whom is the head of one of the greatest private equity firms in the world, back when I was a freshman in college 29 years ago.

They are just a few of the successful people I had the opportunity to get to know when we were all still in our adolescent years and had no idea what careers we would pursue.

Because of this common thread, even though I didn’t pursue the same careers as they did after college, I have occasionally fallen into the comparison trap and thought about the success we have all achieved using different standards (such as fame, wealth, and fulfillment).  Just because of this shared element in our past.

However, I am aware that it is constricting to see someone else’s success as a reflection of my own inferiority, just as I tell other high-achieving leaders.

I can choose to change my focus from introspection to external curiosity instead.

I wondered why I thought their experiences were so much more significant than mine, and I concluded it was because their experiences shared some of my interests and ideals.

I then considered what their experiences would tell me about my chosen profession as an executive coach.

With that in mind, I wondered how I would apply coaching to their industries—media, entertainment, diplomacy, and venture capital.

By choosing how to think about the things that cause me to draw comparisons, I soon felt enthusiastic about my future career rather than being internally critical.

And I understood that success comes to each of us in a variety of unanticipated ways, relying on our own efforts, perseverance, fortitude, and sometimes even chance.

Motivate Yourself by It

You can begin creating a strategy to accomplish these goals for yourself once you’ve identified the general cause of your sentiments of envy.

Feeling envy has only one true benefit, which is that you can use it to motivate yourself.

Maintaining motivation is essential for career advancement, so employ jealousy if necessary.

Use this emotion to motivate your recovery rather than becoming resentful.

More Thankfulness Results From It

Don’t ignore your feelings of jealousy when they arise.

Instead, turn the mirror around and take a good, hard look at what you’ve accomplished.

And if you need assistance viewing the big picture, speak with a reliable friend who can serve as a reminder of everything that you’ve accomplished and as a support system for the actions you want to take next.

Keep in mind that the saying “the grass is always greener where you water it” can help you concentrate on the positive aspects of your life, nurture them, and watch them flourish. 

It Makes Your Next Move Clear

To achieve your goals, you must first truly understand them.

I think jealousy is something that actually serves as quite an excellent indicator of where you want to go in your life. Awareness is crucial when you’re attempting to achieve your goals.

It identifies any areas where you might be holding back and what your genuine feelings are toward a step or goal in your life.

I wasn’t even conscious of my desire to speak at gatherings until I felt that tinge of jealousy. 

Stop the Embarrassment, Let the Envy Flow

It’s quite difficult to will oneself to stop feeling envious.

However, you have some control over the humiliation that frequently follows it and makes the issue worse.

You must calmly accept the discomfort but resist giving in to the embarrassment that frequently follows in order to prevent acute envy from developing into a long-term issue.

According to recent studies, we are less envious of things once they have occurred than we were before.

For instance, knowing that a coworker will soon be promoted to a position you desired tends to make you feel more envious than thinking about promotions that have already occurred.  A normal emotion that we all experience, jealousy, can grow into even more agonizing self-loathing and guilt if you start to “feel awful about feeling bad” about it.

Remind yourself that while you have no control over envy, you do have complete power over whether or not you feel guilty about it.

And the sting will gradually lessen if you calmly permit yourself to be envious of a circumstance while preventing shame from extending its detrimental effects. 

Can you see where this is going?

Actually, jealousy isn’t about the other person.

The focus is always on you.

You don’t have to let your resentment rule your life.

It will transform into a tool if you use it to learn anything about your own desire.

It may aid in bringing your desires to light.

Once you are certain of it, it is up to you to summon the courage to go for it.

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